A word within a word is a little trick you learn to write. A language within the one you know, the one that is uniquely yours. Leave the talking to those who have a voice.. leave the talking to the world outside. Leave the present for those who accept it, and leave the future for those who know that a word written on a blank page, and a thought rising from the crevices of the mind carry emptiness unless we breathe life unto them.
Funny how we are universal, both destroyer and creator, and even nothing at all. Invisible passerby as invisible as the air you need, invisible as the water you crave, as the light that brightens your path. Yes, a word within a word is but a powerful creation. Difficult to comprehend, but a language that is uniquely yours.
I started my own small business this year, and I’ve started ordering beads made out of semi-precious gemstones to create bracelets out of them. In the midst of it all, I remember feeling as though my boundaries had been violated, until I realized that many of the items I’ve ordered came from China. When I read more about China, I then realized that workers there are not at all in good conditions. I thought, no surprise I’d feel all this since I am clairsentient after all.
I cleared my gemstones, and all was fine. I have decided to do my research, and to no longer order anything from China, because if I ever get in the position of hiring my own employees, I would never treat them this way.. Although I have decided to keep what was already ordered. I do have to add though that it was those very feelings that prompted me to start my business in the first place. It was not so much about making money at first, but about getting an LLC that gave me privacy and a more defined individual space under the law. The last step to this was getting my own personal address at the UPS store, and that’s when that day resurfaced just as though it was today.
I was turning 16 that year, when we moved to the United States. It was almost winter, and I lived in New York at the time with my aunt, grandma, sister, and cousins.. I went to a Chinese food place to pick up an order. At the Chinese food restaurant, as I waited, there were two teenage boys who entered the restaurant and asked if I wanted to go to their party. I said no. And then as they were about to exit, one of them stopped, turned around, and asked me: “Are you a virgin?” I said yes. And he asked again, “in your mouth too?” I said yes. And he then said: “Don’t you want to get rid of it?” I responded: “no”.. And then they left. The Chinese lady looked at me and she smiled. I then left with the food and went home.
Then of course, things changed, and I moved to Texas with my mom and grandma. I got my first real boyfriend at the age of 18, yet didn’t kiss a guy until I was 21 years of age when I moved to Florida with my family members again. At the age of 18, I also went through a phase of falling in love with the name of an archangel, which I won’t divulge here, and it is funny how I recently met someone of that very same name right about the time of creating my business. In Texas, I met a guy with that actual name, but he was already taken. But I do remember meditating, and always picturing myself in a forest, going back and forth on a swing attached to the tallest of trees. And then he would walk towards me and speak to me. It was my very favorite daydream, and I feel now that I’ve met a friend even if I truly do not know the true role of this person in my life. It might just be a sign of getting closer to aligning myself with what I truly am meant to do… Yet today at that post office, I was given a printout with my address and mailbox number. The number? 218.
I’d like to call it coincidence, but I do realize that a huge part of life is about connecting the dots. These were dots I never would have thought could ever be dots. I mean, who would think that creating a business and getting a business address could be freeing? As she gave me the expiration date of my new address, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake not to get a month to month instead of a contract for a certain period of time, until I realized: I decide my own fate. And what I have decided is to remain in the present moment. I am no longer looking forward to the future, as I am completely satisfied and content with enjoying my sweet nothings of today. I wanted my freedom, and I got it by employing myself and tying myself to my own self.
My mom told me to wait until I start selling to do all this, but then none of it was my motivation to begin with. What I was looking for was myself. I found her, and I am never letting go of her ever again. Thanks to my gemstones or a guardian angel whispering my truth to me? Who knows! But I even created my own time sheets today. My mom asked me what I would pay myself with; I said, as the chief executive officer of naturelleKdiamond, I am volunteering and donating all my time to naturelleKdiamond. The first task on the list: get some well deserved rest; it has been a very long day!