Got Hired by the Government?

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I’ve read numerous posts about persons who get hired by government agencies, such as the FBI and the CIA, and this is simply a post adding some humor to the topic, as reading these blogs has made me laugh out loud! I do not work for any government agencies, and I am completely self-employed, but if you do get hired by a government agency like the CIA, you would know that it should be kept confidential, “or else” (for your own safety); keep in mind, you should hide it so much that not even a fly should fly by you and know where you have been!

Here are some cover stories you may use.. By the way, I post this because one thing I have also seen all over the internet is that government agents have now become quite obvious in the midst of civilians, especially when they are from Washington, DC.. hence why so many people love to post about how visible they are when they try to camouflage themselves. Yes, it has become more of a joke:

Story # 1: When friends and family ask about what you do for a living, do get creative! So creative that your story flies like a bird and vanishes into oblivion. You’ve got to believe in that story so much that you run with it around the world. Become an artist, feature your work on social media, and even sell or donate your work! Creating your small business is a great step to take for this purpose, as it gives you a legitimate story that is so believable you would never need to lie.

Story # 2: Suggest by your “absence” and sleeping habits to be a stripper, and also by your actions; vanishing in late hours, always having lots of dollar bills, and even going as far as choosing a new alias to go by.. just to hide in your bedroom quietly or spend a few more hours at the office. No one will ever have to know anything, and you’ll never need to confirm or deny a thing either. Rumors will surface as to your whereabouts, until one day you feel like extinguishing them. Although by that time, you’ll most likely find a new cover story to tell as to where you get your money from!

Story # 3: Pretend to be the coveted mistress of a rich man! Well, that story might burn your reputation a bit, and your friends may just abandon you.. even though the story is not true at all. Who cares about your self-image right? You would never need to explain what you do for a living, all the while everyone would “know” and assume: sugar daddy is spoiling you! The money you make would be well worth it.. maybe.

Story # 4: Be spoiled. Be that girl in her late twenties or thirties who isn’t doing anything at all with her time. Family is paying for bills, and she’s got absolutely no goals in life. She’s knitting, watching tv shows, writing poetry, taking selfies all day long, travels around once in a while, but she mostly just sits there idly like a chicken resting on her eggs and likes being “alone”. That would require lots of creativity, since doing nothing and everything all at once may get tricky.. but if you’re up for it, it will work!

Story # 5: Housewife whose husband won’t let her go to work! That one is a classic! No one has to ever know what you truly do during the day and that there are five different nannies hiding under your bed. To everyone else, you will be a very busy mommy running around with giggling and crying babies. Some hubbies are very protective of their wives, and literally hire them to take care of the babies: let that be your story, and only see your friends every once in a blue moon (“sleepless nights” and all). Then again, for this story to work, you’d have to find a husband and get pregnant very very fast.. but he will most likely be CIA as well.. and hide it from you! Talk about perfect coupling!

There you have it, a few simple cover stories for the taking! I just love government agents though, as they are too sweet!

I was once sitting at a restaurant with a friend of mine when an older man popped out of the blue and sat by close to us. The restaurant and surrounding area was completely emptied out, so we found him to be a bit out of place, especially when he looked like a government agent. He sat calmly and enjoyed a cup of coffee… Our imaginations ran wild as we made up stories as to the identity of the man, and we even mimicked the way he started a conversation with us, as it was quite unique.

He said: “family planning, eh? Well, at least you have a plan”.

I had such a blast observing him, and every single person that has seemed “out of place”, including in my phone conversations. I am a quiet observer, so I usually try to keep my conclusions to myself, but if you ever meet one of these creatures, do give them a hello. They are adorable!!



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