An empath can be defined as a person who is sensitive to energy that surrounds them. Being an empath is a wonderful gift, since it does give one a unique perspective on the life that surrounds them… if of course said empath is empowered. Most people who are empaths either have no idea they are, or simply deny it as a way to avoid doing the necessary work to become empowered. I’ve put together a small checklist that will help figure out if you fall into the “empath” category from having lived through it myself. I’ve also included a few pointers on how to deal with each sign.
Sign #1: Your life is like one big movie!
Ever have the experience of saying things, and then seeing it on the big screen? Feeling things, then hearing someone else say it the very next day? You may find yourself feeling like your life is an act for all of the unending déjà vues. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that: doing this is partly a compass for your soul; it is its natural way of knowing where you are in time, and what you are looking forward to if you know how to be above it. It doesn’t mean your life didn’t happen up until that point or that what you hear is important; it simply gives you insight as to what you listen for from the movies you watch and the songs you listen to. But whether those feelings are welcome or not, they are definitely a sign of being an empath!
For this reason alone, many empaths are careful as to the movies they watch, for fear of sensing that information in advance, or walking around with the energy from movies or words. Empaths tend to absorb energy instead of letting it go. So let’s say they are about to watch a movie like “Contracted” or “Primeval” in two weeks, leading up to that moment they might have a distorted view of reality or even become paranoid… until they watch it, then go “aaahhh! it was just a movie”
But by that time, they might end a relationship that was perfectly fine, label someone unfairly, or even go completely crazy on a hiking trip… all because of a movie. I have been on both sides of the fence of either being paranoid or being the object of paranoia. In addition, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which means an added bonus of being scattered (lol), but today I find myself on neither side of the fence; I have learned not to jump to conclusions about others, and to ask questions instead of making assumptions. I have learned to be safe: I’m not going to break up with a guy and assume he has an STD just because of a movie I’m about to watch, but assuming that every single person on earth could have one, before we become intimate I’d simply make it a point for us both to go and get tested together. This way we will both be present, and we will both see it: PEACE OF MIND instead of freak out beast mode.
Another example of this was that on a hiking adventure, I became curious about the presence of crocodiles and alligators (and I’m sure there were none). I was given a vague answer by a guy: “I’m sure they wouldn’t eat you”, so I decided to go on the dry trail instead of the swamps that were so flooded that the lake full of gators and the trail became almost one. Because of hurricane Irma, I was not sure of how much damage their gator barriers (if they had any) had sustained, and what changes occurred in the fauna (maybe the new presence of more dangerous crocodiles). I went with the safe route, but once that trail dries up, I will go back and try again since that is the trail I went there for in the first place: simple common sense without paranoia!
I’ve also learned self-confidence, and simply being content with knowing who I am and knowing that if anyone wishes to know if I am an illegal drug addict or not, they will ask me directly, and not go about asking someone who would not know. I should not be afraid of watching documentaries about illegal drug abuse (I’m talking about illegal drugs, not controlled substances), people who have cancer or other disorders or diseases, seeing homeless persons, etc just because I am an empath. Today, I have so much of a blast with it, and will even go as far as telling stories from the craziest movies I’ve watched or from weird conversations I’ve had, for the simple reason that life is too short to be afraid of joking or talking about different topics for fear of being labeled by an empath who hasn’t done the necessary work to be calm and balanced, and to accept uncertainty and the importance of asking questions.
If you are an empath and find yourself feeling limited in life as to what you can do, what you can watch, who you can befriend, and the places where you can go in, do stay tune because I do hope to write some more blog posts on solutions. Generally though, empaths do find themselves feeling at the mercy of their environment, to the point where they feel as though they’re acting in a movie (in other words, that has nothing to do with their actual life and actual feelings). Is that a sign to audition? MAYBE! Hahaha!
Sign #2: People tend to interrupt you.
Yes, that is actually a sign. They usually assume to know what you’ll say next, because the assumption is that up to this point, you’ve talked a lot, but from their voice. They don’t see the point of listening to their own thoughts. The tricky side of this is that those people are usually imbalanced empaths themselves who felt in advance what they were about to hear from you. So what you might see is that even as balanced as you become, you’ll be given that label from others who are empaths and completely unaware or in denial. How do you get out of that maze of unending sensing and misunderstandings? Be literally quiet and write instead!
Writing is a great tool in that it helps you get it out, without having to say anything. The fact that your innermost feelings would be in your diary would mean that no one else would have access to those. This frees your interactions since there are some things you would reserve for your private journal. When you write, you also get to quietly observe and see how what you’ve written fits into your life or others’ lives. It gives you an outlet for those feelings. And then soon enough, you’ll find that others are asking you why you’re so quiet since they’ll most likely wish to know more.
Sign # 3: A trip to a store is like war!
When you go to a party or to the mall, how do you feel? Chances are, in the moments before getting to that public place or after, you’ll find yourself having unexplained feelings that are likely to go away after your interactions. This is especially relevant for love relationships! One example might be going to a party, then having a fight with your boyfriend about a woman. What you might not realize is that those are that other woman’s feelings about their own boyfriend, not your actual feelings. How you know the difference is that when you take some distance, those feelings vanish. Be careful not to take on the negativity from someone else’s experience (not personality).
This is no excuse to blame someone else for your life decisions, simply insight that can help you learn more about yourself: if you’re a very confident person but find yourself unsure depending on where you are and who is around you, that is a sign of being an empath. If you find yourself obsessed about certain ideas to then wonder why you even thought of them, that is another sign you’re picking up energy from your environment. Nothing wrong with it, except what you pick up might kick you out of balance so that in the end you look like the energy you read or make decisions based on things you shouldn’t even think about.
What is the solution? You cannot stop people from telling you stories, you cannot stop others from feeling as they do, watching the movies they want, or from listening to the voices they feel like listening to. So get balanced! I created my own meditation that I listen to. The reason why I’ve done this is that I realized voice matters a lot to me. Of course, I could easily listen to persons I find to be an inspiration. But I wondered, what would it be like to listen to my own voice? To be completely myself? So far, that has worked wonders for me. For some reason, my voice gets things done. I’m actually planning on creating more meditations having to do with attracting the love that is for me, and even the job that is the right fit. I’ll let you guys know how that works out! I would recommend to everyone who is an empath: Create private meditations with your own voice, and choose to keep it to yourself if that is your wish!
Sign #4 Relationships are also a battlefield!
Whose feelings were those? Yours, or his, or the random passerby? If you find yourself having constant love mishaps, you are most likely an empath! You talk to him, but it turns out what you said was something the next person he spoke to was about to say? Or you could’ve sworn you were attracted to him this whole time, but then after you had sex and he left, you couldn’t stop crying and feeling as though you were cheated out of your decision to say no because his feelings of attraction overpowered your need to wait until he left and you woke up to what you truly felt? The moments and times leading to a relationship are probably the toughest, because those are the times when empaths don’t even know what they feel themselves.
Does it even matter? Absolutely not as long as you are patient with yourself and are dating someone equally as patient, who can hold off sex until YOU feel comfortable. The thing is in life, you’ll always have something in common with someone else. You’ll sit on a chair that someone else sat on and pick up energy. So when you date a man or a woman, take the time to get to know them. Continually take short breaks of few days in between while setting your dates to different locations and activities. To start, it might be a good idea to call it a friendship, even if this is a person you’d like to date. Stay single and celibate as long as you possibly can. I’ve already had one year of complete celibacy and that was the best decision ever as I feel so connected to myself! Try to do as many activities alone as you can to remove as much pressure as possible from anything you would sense while keeping yourself in balance, and always keep in mind that as an empath, you are a colorful sponge: have fun with it, but never accept the presence of anyone who demeans you or even tries to make you feel as though you are invisible or a tool. In other words, be choosy.
When it comes to established relationships and marriages, I’d recommend watching the show “Medium” to get the gist of what it’s like to be in a relationship with an empath. The show is called “Medium”, but the true story is about a woman who is an empath (according to her own testimony). This show is very helpful because it shows her husband always by her side and trying to figure out what it is that she’s sensing and if it can help someone else. There are times he becomes impatient, especially when he doesn’t recognize his own wife. But I love that it shows him knowing that he is married to HER with all of her layers and colors; the rest is secondary, because she is the only person he sees himself with. Besides, I have a feeling that life without such a medium would be boring.
Why am I telling this story? So that empaths can see themselves as a whole picture. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we tend to focus on one aspect of our body. But when we look at the whole person, we realize hmmm… it was only a detail. When I look at myself as a whole, I don’t even notice the empath side. I see a 28 year old woman who loves to kayak, crochet, keeps up with a blog that sometimes gets weird, is exploring hiking, loves to swim and to garden, and to be in nature in general…
Choose someone who sees you that way: who sees the beauty of who you are in all the things that you do, and in all of your little hobbies and habits and personality traits that they have learned about through knowing you. Because then they’ll know who they are dating or marrying, so that when you’re being an empath or a medium or channeling random people, they’ll feel more like slapping you awake so they can continue their conversation with that beautiful person they chose to be with. In other words, they will know the difference.
Stay tuned for more signs and solutions! I hope this post inspires you to love yourself as an empath!