Today as I researched, I was surprised to discover men who thought there was something wrong with their girlfriends because said girlfriends were quiet during sex and orgasm. In the forums, some people went as far as advising a man that his girlfriend was either frigid, or not feeling anything. See one forum here:
Yet, in a different article, it was said that the vast majority of women make so much noise during sex with their partner to either boost their partner’s ego, fake an orgasm, or get their partner to have an orgasm faster by turning them on enough for that. See the article here:
Then even more surprising in my research, I found that for single women, one advice given was to make more noise during masturbation to spice up their self-love sessions, because the assumption is that women who are masturbating alone would be quiet, since they’d have no one to impress. See one of the articles here:
So what’s the truth in all this? Keep reading!
The truth is simple: everyone is different. The truth changes with the seasons of life.
An example from my own life: growing up, I have always been quiet, because I’ve always been surrounded by family; trust me, I did not wish for anyone in my family to know when I was having an orgasm. While dating my first husband, I experimented with making more sounds at first, but then went back to being quiet, just because we moved in with other people, and I still didn’t see a reason to make noise. I didn’t think it necessary at all to let the world know my clitoris works.
Throughout the years of my marriage, I remained quiet. Of course, as an orgasm builds, it is only natural to make some noise or sound, but I have never felt the need to fake an orgasm, and I have never faked one. I have however, made noise AFTER having an orgasm, because I am that quiet. That’s where one of the articles get it right: after an orgasm, seeing a man still going at it gets tiring. Many times after having an orgasm, I have made noise and pretended, just to turn the man on and get him to have one himself to get it over with. Unlike women who fake orgasms, I get extremely upset when I don’t have one. I have been known to cry for hours for that reason alone. So trust me, he’d know.. though of course as I have matured, I have learned to keep myself from getting upset by enjoying the moment.
When it comes to being single and masturbating after my divorce, it is true that the assumption is that single women are usually quiet, since they have no one to impress and are simply enjoying their body without feeling the need to add a soundtrack to it. Besides, imagination plays a huge role in orgasm, and imagination includes sounds that do not have to be heard.
However, at 28 years old (which was last year), and without even reading any articles on the topic, I decided to make more noise during my self-pleasure sessions. I have made so much noise that I have sometimes had to go hide in my car or put my music very loud so as to not be heard anyone, since I live with family. Many have assumed, for that reason, that I was having sex in my bedroom even though I haven’t for over a year, only to discover there was no one there. I forced myself to vocalize more, and I do have to say, doing this has been so much fun that I’ve even repeated out loud as I went: “and my name is Kristeen Lagroue”.. And trust me, I needed that reminder, because being loud took some training. I remember having to google things to say, and “how” to make sounds. I do have to agree with the last article that it is a wonderful idea for single women, and I still can’t believe I waited so long to make some noise.
After being noisy for some time (a few months), I went back to being quiet and experimented with not making a sound at all, as in.. not even breathing differently, while I had an orgasm. I found that remaining completely calm intensified the experience for me, even though the assumption would be that screaming means it feels better. I’ve found that the more I internalized my orgasm, the more of it I felt. And I wouldn’t want any man to take away from this feeling just because his mind cannot understand the fact that I choose to express myself as I wish.
To men, I say let your girlfriends be. Let them be who they are, and allow them to express themselves however they see fit. A person changes through time, sometimes quiet, sometimes very noisy, and sometimes with the right balance. It doesn’t mean they are possessed if they decide to spice things up, or that they died if they decide to be quiet. Some people are not resistant to change, and welcome it. Some people are not afraid of being themselves, whether quiet or noisy, without a care about what others will think if they decide to spice it up or calm it down. As always, ask questions to the person you are with, and never make assumptions!