The soul is fragile… amazingly fragile. And the most interesting part about your soul is that you may not even notice that parts of it are missing, until you wake up one day feeling like you blacked out without knowing when it happened. Soul fragmentation usually occurs as a result of trauma, yet I went through 28 years of life not even noticing I was broken to pieces. It took listening to soul retrieval tapes over and over, to see just how much work had to be done before I could feel whole again.
Last night, I had the strangest dream: I found myself in a room, just like the one I resided in for a few days in California in 2009 at 20 years old, for my best friend’s wedding. Yet at the same time in the dream, I was technically in Haiti. The room was identical to that of Cali, yet I was in Haiti in a room outside of a friend’s home. My older sister was next to me, and I didn’t want my friends to see me there, though I heard them looking for me. From a shelf, some pictures fell off. Those were pictures of myself when I was young, maybe in 2001, at 10 and 12 years old.. pictures I had looked for everywhere to no avail. In one, I saw myself in a pink dress, except I had marked my face and I looked different, almost sad, in the picture. In another picture I’m wearing a pink bathing suit with flowers next to a pool, and my hair is braided. In the same pile were pictures of my mother when she was young. I gave those pictures to my sister to give back to our mother, and my own picture I put back on the shelf so that my friends could keep something to remember me by and kept one of them.
I left my sister in that room, and walked fast so that no one saw me go by. It was a very close friend I was trying to avoid, a friend I should have never avoided. I walked past the cage that my dog would’ve usually been found in at my own house in Haiti, when I was 15 years old, though she was not in her cage in the dream. She had left, somehow. It was strange because though that part of the location resembled my own home, I knew it was not. I went into a bathroom that had everything automatic, from the soap dispenser to the drier, and it looked like a child’s bathroom and it was colored of green and blue. I washed my hands, dried them, then I left. I heard my friend talking, so I ran the other way to avoid being seen by her.
It never dawned on me until I woke up from my dream, that I had made full circle. The same conversations repeated themselves, yet I find myself having had spoken to myself almost as though from the future, and it is quite the experience, to say the very least. And none of it would have been possible had I not listened to a soul retrieval. This dream was one of my indications that it had worked and had awoken in me a side of myself I didn’t quite get.
In a soul retrieval, the shaman astral travels back into your past, from before you were even born, then into your future, to retrieve lost parts of yourself and bring them back fully to the present moment. These are the parts of yourself that are in hiding, or have left due to trauma, to leave you feeling empty, or unaware. The shaman revisits every part of your childhood, somewhat asking each part of you what it needs to come back. It was fascinating to see myself hiding in that dream and to have that tangible proof of me running away. It was funny to see myself try to escape being seen, and being loved, not by others/family who were there, but by my own self. It felt like I needed to detach myself from it all and wash my hands, to give back to others their energy, to let go, and to stop hiding. It was sad to see me leaving my own picture behind, yet amazing to still have that dream, and to understand fully how I felt and what I needed to work on in myself in order for my soul to be here.
The soul retrieval I recommend to everyone who has ever undergone trauma, no matter how insignificant you may feel said trauma has been. You will be surprised, as I was, to see myself there… to catch a glimpse of my own voice, as though it had left me long ago. I discovered facets of myself I had failed to see, or that I had hidden from myself. It’s interesting to understand myself better, almost like someone could extract long lost feelings I couldn’t have put into words.
Also, one little note: try to skip the parts about time (how long the meditation will take and how long it will take to work). Try to mute the tape at that part, just to allow your mind to work its way there without interference.
As I study the art of shamanism, I hope to someday be able to help others through soul retrievals as these have helped me.
This soul retrieval from Cathy is great:
Another soul retrieval that is also equally as good, available on audible.com: